Let me start this post by declaring, it is not about me. This post is to declare that it is about them. The people in my life that have to deal with the me. Regardless of what I am going through at any point in my life; I am called to be a blessing.
I wake up in the morning and I hurt. I mean I really hurt , everywhere. I am so tired and sick from hurting. Each day I make an effort to rise not for myself but for the lives of those I may touch that day. I often have to repent of my attitude and my frustrated grumblings, but when I am not in the moment, my heart is to bless others. I must rise above the moment. Right now it is a conscious effort, my goal is one day not have to ‘think’ or make the effort, that it will come naturally.
If I live in only the existence of my body or my circumstance I will fail miserably at this life because frankly many of those days just suck. I have recently gotten into the pattern when others ask how I am doing to be vague with my answer or declare that I am blessed. I do not wish to share that I hurt very often. I do not feel I am being dishonest in anyway, I am always truthful with censorship. It is not encouraging, uplifting, or even pleasant for others to hear that I am doing crappy most days.
My poor family as much as I desire to bless them each day, hear my complaining and my mood swings as I deal with the blur. I have decided this day to make a stronger effort to not subject them to that.
I am taken back to a time in my life when I was sick years ago. I needed to step away from everything back then that was important to me. I felt like I had no ministry and was teetering on despair and then I remembered…there is no room for despair when I am a child of God.
God lead me to writing letters of encouragement to strangers. Offering friendship and prayer. I was so blessed in this season. Joy bubbled forth like deposits of rain. I even formed friendships with people that wrote back. A very dear friend that has blessed me far more than I ever could possibly bless her, was one of my greatest rewards.
To this day no matter how cruddy I feel I am always blessed and get a measure of joy when I do for others. When I rise and bless the children’s day that I work with, help my father or mother, when I have a listening ear for my own children, when I make a great dinner for the family, stand on the worship team and sing, make it to a baby shower, or even as exhausting as it is, grocery shop for my men’s belly’s these things are seeds sown that reap joy in the harvest.
Everything that I do can be done for the Glory of God and to bless others and my reward of joy far outweighs living in my moment. He gives me the strength to rise each day and He gives me the leading on how to bless. The touching of lives is not done in my own power, for in myself there is none. It is all about digging deeper than the me factor. Because the me could never be enough.
These moments end. The life that is full of struggle will end. Yet the seeds and the measure of joy that we have sown, will just keep overflowing from the the life we have given into others.
Blessings this day my friends and remember, deposit the joy into the life of others.
So he said to me, “This is the word of the Lord to Zerubbabel: ‘Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,’ says the Lord Almighty.