It is amazing how something can be so seeded inside of you, that you take it for granted for years, then all of a sudden when you need the truth, your Spirit man says, ” This is it! Do you remember?”
I have been extremely fortunate to be rooted in some wonderful God faring churches over the years. Many great teachings that have been sown into my heart for such a time as this.
In this season, my passions have become alive in me again. I felt the Lords instruction to stop taking a medication and it is almost as if I am awake for the first time in six months. But as soon as I step out in my callings, I get attacked. It dawned on me all of a sudden, that this is the enemies plan! He does not care when I am bound up and blinded by my own messes. Yet, the second I put aside my self, and begin to do kingdom work, he is on the attack. Now I don’t want to give the enemy much time here. I just want to stop and focus on the fact that FINALLY, I am aware of his plans. Yes I have heard the scripture for years that the enemy comes to steal, kill and destroy, but not until this season in my life have I realized that he doesn’t come in to just kill, steal and destroy me, but the ministry God has placed in my hands and the lives of those around me, through me.
When I am at my sickest; the house does not get done, I am moody, sleepy, antisocial, and down right a mess. I KNOW that is not the plan God has for me.
I can go to church and arrive a mess, spend my morning in worship and feel alive, rejuvenated and full of God’s grace. I had a friend that is not a believer describe the church scene and healing as a joke, she stated, “no you are not healed, once that euphoria wears off they will be the same.”
I partly agree with her. Yes, if you are a believer and you are in the very presence of God, it is euphoric. He is amazing and His presence is so thick it is tangible. And often that healing does not last! What?!? Yes, often MY healing does not ‘stick’ so to speak; and here is why!
We let go of it, we allow the lies from the enemy to destroy what the Lord has done. In HIS presence there is healing! When we go about our own selfish pursuit, we often don’t walk in the presence of God. I know that the Holy Spirit is in me, but as I worship and praise Him, something happens, there is a shift! No longer am I aware of the pain that was there, or the problems of today, I am focused on the great magnitude of God and His awesomeness. In His presence there is healing, restoration, freedom and joy. When I turn from the moments of today and turn my eyes on Him, shutting out the lies that taunt me, He is faithful!
So after waking up Sunday morning in the worst pain for over a year, I wanted to weep, but I got up and went to church. During worship I felt horrid, my body ached, my head ached, I was shaky and off-balance, I began to cry. I just sat and cried. I went to the bathroom to blow my nose and I swear God spoke to me and I heard a phrase that I have NEVER thought about on my own. ” Suck it up, buttercup!” And it hit me, I was feeling sorry for myself. I was so over the burden of pain and fatigue, yet I kept picking it back up and allowing it to consume me. I felt miserable and therefore was allowing myself to have a ‘pity party’.
Finally no more! I went in and finished worship and I tell you, I felt stronger, less pain and energized as I left that building!
I went home and decided that Sunday would be my last day of a medication with horrid side effects and knowing that the withdrawal symptoms are horrible, I didn’t take my next dose, or the next or the next. Guess what, every time there was a withdrawal symptom, I would worship and they would go!! Only two days of slight withdrawals that worship drove away and now medication free. I must push on for the manifestation of the healing from pain, and I know my God has taken care of this already!
Wouldn’t you know it, I have gained this victory, shared my heart with others about what God is stirring to do in my life, and I am hit from another side! Each ministry has been attacked, and although I am surrounded from every side… I have my protector in position ready to do the battle, for no weapon formed against me will stand! My battle belongs to the Lord. I tell you, the enemy doesn’t quit. We are people who have to grab our swords (word of God) and FIGHT. He equipped us, now let’s DO IT ~ You may need to remind me of these words from time to time ~
I was challenged this week to Study Psalm 18. I am going to challenge my readers, I would be blessed to hear your thoughts.
Shaey ( Writing for Joy )