Spinning the wheels

With my husband out of work for so long and no prospects really in sight, some days I can literally feel my brain spinning the wheels. I am constantly looking up jobs, thinking about the forclosure sale date, and making sure we are attempting to move forward.

I am finding there is a fine balance between taking steps in faith, because faith without works is dead, and trying to make something happen in my own power.

Most often these days, the Lord is needing to remind me over and over to just rest and wait. Waiting is so not my normal nature. If I ‘think’ I can find the solution, I am going to keep racking my brains and try. If I think I am going to miss an opportunity if I am not looking for it, I am going to keep looking. These days if I let it, my mind spinning the wheels could drive me right into that ditch of despair. I need to be aware of what I am doing.

I do not do anticipation very well;  I am the kind of girl that would scrape the dirt off my seedlings in the garden to see if they were beginning to sprout, and cover them with dirt again. I would look in the back of the mystery book to see if I was right. One year I opened all my Christmas packages and re-wrapped them ( I was twelve).

Oh I can handle the woman in front of me in line on her cell phone, not putting her groceries on the belt just fine. I can wait forever and a day for the cat to decide if she wants to go outside or not. However, when it comes to anticipating something good to happen, especially when we are at the limit,  I do not do waiting very well.

I do not like this about me. I am finding daily I need to repeat to myself, trust in the Lord, rest, be full of peace, He has it covered! I fully and completely believe there is a plan for our lives and I do not have to know every single step.  So finding the balance between getting those wheels to stop spinning for a bit, and to get them moving when it is needed is the trick of this season for me.

Challenge this day my friends: When we want to think things to much, just rest in Him. Know that the plan is already there and we are taken care of 🙂 Trust me, I am completely taking this challenge up often these days. SO very thankful He is always patient with me and let’s me try that again.

Proverbs 3:5-

Trust in the LORD with all your heart And do not lean on your own understanding.

(New American Standard Bible)

Beware…sweet doesn’t always mean good!

The recent stint of food poisoning for my friend from food that was absolutely wonderful tasting, led me to a lesson for the youth kids at my home.

We used marshmallows, soft, white, sweet marshmallows to represent sin. ( I wanted to use bubblegum but didn’t have that on hand)
Then we had to keep placing marshmallows in our mouths and try to say, Jesus is Lord. As each sin was crammed into the mouth, it was harder and harder to say Jesus is Lord.

Sometimes sin in our lives can seem so right, and be sweet for the moment: we can gossip with the excuse that we are lifting a sister in prayer, or we can serve the church ministry while neglecting our family at home, or we can shout praises in church and then slander our boss or family member because they made us mad, and we can call it righteous indignation.

We can mistakenly place sin in our mouth over and over and our walk becomes messy and sticky. The bitterness settles in and what once tasted sweet, no longer is. The more that the bitterness, and the root of sin buries in our heart, the harder it is to walk in Joy or sing the praises of Jesus. We can get in the trap without realizing it, but when conviction stirs in our hearts we need to recognize it and turn it over to the Lord. When sin is left in the heart, our life and walk reflect it. The word says we will be known by our fruit.

People notice when you gossip, people notice when you slander. It may not be apparent right away but will make you sick in the end spiritually if you keep walking in it.

We all sin and every one falls short of the glory of God. There is grace that covers that sin as we repent and turn away we have the VICTORY over that sin. As we walk closer to the father, the sin won’t seem so sweet anymore but foul or even off as it is on our lips, the conviction will come and we will hopefully pursue truly good things, that are ALL HIM.

Challenge this day my friend: Self examination; is there an area you may have felt conviction and you have slowly still ate from the wrong food? It is time to give it up and walk in your true victory in pursuit of Him.

Romans 6:13-14

 Do not offer any part of yourself to sin as an instrument of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer every part of yourself to him as an instrument of righteousness.

 For sin shall no longer be your master, because you are not under the law, but under grace.

FULLNESS has arrived

I have begun my journey of blogging to encourage others to find joy, as well as my own pursuit of the fullness of joy of the Lord.

I am so gloriously happy to report that while things may get me down for a moment I do not stay there. I am no longer operating in fear or circumstances. It has been a rough journey and while I do not think the things that kept going wrong one after another were God’s doing, I do believe He used them to do a work in me. All things that are meant to harm us are used for the glory of God, for those who love Him.
I dug deeper into His word, I drew closer to Him, I sang out His praises when I did not feel like it and He used those opportunities to grow me. I never knew how much growing I needed to do, until I had true testing in my life. And test after test came, week after week.

I realized fresh that my fullness of joy was finally here, when I got devastating news about my moms health. While for a moment I was stunned and even saddened. I did not stay there. I know God already knows the plans He has for us and I know His promises for us.

Also in a matter of days I discovered my teen son was very seriously playing and toying with the idea of suicide. When I discovered this I was away from home and fear and panic could have taken hold of me a few months ago. But not this time, I laughed and declared, MY SON HAS A PURPOSE and nothing will deter that! I was concerned from time to time while I was away, and that prompted prayers of protection and covering over my sons heart as well as lots of texts to stay in touch…. but it did not lead me into a pattern of being frozen or overly consumed with it. I do not fear it! I have joy despite the circumstances around me.

Are home is to be listed for sale in a matter of months and we have NOTHING set aside for moving, and my husband still does not have a job, our credit score is horrid now and technically renting can be darn near impossible, but I do not care what ‘technically is’ God is bigger and  I am NOT letting that rob my joy.

Joy does NOT need to be based on our circumstances. It is a gift to us. The son has set us free from the bondage of worry, depression, fear and doubt. In my pursuit of Joy I decided to be a joy spreader, putting it out there all that I could. What happened then? BLESSED was the joy maker!

I will not walk in darkness but rather the light of the truth of what is MINE. Fullness of joy is mine!

Challenge this day my friend: Keep pursuing your victory over the concerns of the world. Keep pursuing the fullness of Joy. Get into the word, spend time in prayer and speak out against the things that want to pull you into the trap. Fullness of joy is ours to have in His presence, His presence dwells in the spirit of the believer, we need to practice walking in it 🙂
JOY is yours in the morning!

Acts 2: 25-28

David said about him:

“‘I saw the Lord always before me.
Because he is at my right hand,
I will not be shaken.
Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices;
my body also will rest in hope,
 because you will not abandon me to the realm of the dead,
you will not let your holy one see decay.
 You have made known to me the paths of life;
you will fill me with joy in your presence.

The lesson that was shown, not told

On my glorious girl time away, my friend and I had a late night dinner at Famous Dave’s. The food was SO amazingly tasty. We could not get over how fabulous it was. That is until the next morning, my friend got food poisoning. She was so sick, that she could barely lift her head. But she absolutely insisted she was fine, not wanting to miss the conference. Now I do not skim over this lightly, but I wish to spare you details….she was SICK.

When we made it to the conference and found our seats she looked so horrible, I suggested she go lay in the car. I learned by now that suggesting we leave would not be an option. But it wasn’t until we were at the conference and the worship began while she was still in the car, that I realized she wasn’t pushing through for herself. She had pushed to get there for me, she would NEVER settle for me missing out on what the Lord may have for me. My heart was overwhelmingly blessed, and humbled.

Thankfully after a couple hours of napping my friend came back in and heard Joyce Meyers speak.

After the session we came back and took a good nap in the hotel room, and my friend woke feeling like herself.

Throughout the whole time I saw so many  ways that my friend was always thinking of me. She brought me breakfast on a tray one morning and had coffee made, she was always trying to let me sleep extra, she took my bags to the car, and she always wanted to make sure I was taken care of.

My friend taught me in many ways, more than the conference ever could. She taught me how to love and serve another without selfish ambition. The conference was wonderful and I learned many things I could apply to my life, but these were things told, the lessons learned from my friend, were things shown.

I am so very thankful for these real life experiences and an opportunity to sow seed of my own. I pray that her harvest is GREAT and that others will learn from her soft gentle ways and not keep looking her over because she tends to be a quiet soul.

I have been challenged myself with this time away and it is a challenge that I will take seriously: How can I express unselfish love and motivations in the way that was shown to me? Am I making sure that others are put above myself? Am I being Christ in the most tangible way to others on this earth, by putting them first? Thank you sweet friend for the example.

Titus 3:14

Our people must learn to do good by meeting the urgent needs of others; then they will not be unproductive.

( New Living Translation )

God shoes

I was reading past posts on an old blog site when I came across a blog that reminded me HOW MUCH my Lord cares for me and every detail of my person. He created me uniquely and I am only called to do that which he has before me.
( From my old blog site ) I am a worshiper at heart. You could never remove my awe and attachment to the Lord. I am in utter adoration of His awesomeness. I had begun expressing worship to Him in dance timidly; a tap here, a clap there.
Now hands in the air, spinning, jumping, feet moving in pure joy I understand the complete unabashed freedom in worshiping the Lord as David. However I try to stay fully clothed only the shoes coming off on the very wild occasions unlike David who danced naked in the streets.
This brings me the importance to my special shoes the Lord hand crafted for me to have.
One night I had a dream, in this dream God called me to dance and I had on special shoes. They were unique and so vivid in my dream I wanted those shoes when I woke up.
Alas these were not shoes I had ever seen before or could pick up at the local shoe store.
That very day my mother in law and I went shopping in the downtown stores. When I entered the clearance section of  a store I had never entered before, there were THE shoes. Now pay attention to this, they were not similar shoes, they were identical. They were unique, never like anything I had seen besides my dream and there was only ONE pair on the shelf and in MY size. They were ballet type flats, teal, with shiny sequences on them. They were the very same shoe as my dream and I had the exact cash for them from Red Berry Boutique.
I do not wear these shoes often even though I love the uniqueness of them and that the Lord revealed them to me before I ever laid eyes on them. I do not want to ruin them.
But in finding these shoes when I wasn’t really even looking, God was doing something in me. Showing me that I am valued, that I am loved, that He recognizes my heart for worship and is calling me to dance. It was like a physical, hand-picked gift from God.
Since this time I have been told many times to dance for the Lord as I struggle in life issues. The joy always bubbles forth as I take the time and worship the Lord in this way.
Fullness of joy is His plan for our lives and dancing is a tool that I intend to use. I will not worry about opinion of man, or how foolish I may look. I will dance, and I will sing and I will be thankful for the shoes the Lord has placed on my feet, stepping in to my position as His worshiper.
As I read thold blog;  I was reminded today that God can reach His children personally. He desires the relationship with us and has things for us as individuals. We don’t have to ‘work’ for our relationship with Him. We only have to trust and believe in the Lord Jesus Christ as our personal savior. Like any relationship it will grow as you spend time with Him. He cares about every detail, even the little things!
How He loves us is not measurable by mere words. It is simply GOD. He wants us to wear the shoes He has for us and for us to walk boldly in His path! Confident that HE has equipped us!
Challenge this day friend: Ask the Lord to reveal Himself to you in new ways. Do not be so wrapped up in the events of your day and the world around us that we forget to spend time with the one that created and loves us! Place your feet in your GOD shoes and pursue His passions for you.
Psalm 42:1-
As the deer pants for the water brook, so my soul pants after you, God
(World English Bible)