Disappointment in the gift

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We have a full yard of white clover at our new home. I love the wild craziness of the flowers. I am one that does not like to spray the yard with chemicals, especially with a new puppy that likes to chew on the grass.
I will often take a few minutes to see if I can find a four-leaf clover when I pass by the patches of green. For me, it is like a little treasure hunt, looking for the unlikely in the midst of a million possibilities, as the chances of finding a four-leaf clover are 1 in 10,000.
Tonight the thought again crossed my mind that I wanted to find a perfect four-leaf clover, a gift set aside just for me.
I bent down and saw all the tiny perfect little shamrocks with their heart-shaped leaves.
There, right in the midst of them, was my find. A large four-leaf clover. At first, I was elated to have spied one, finally. But then…

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As I examined my four-leaf clover I was disappointed in the straight leaves with no heart shape. I was disappointed it wasn’t tiny and cute like all the sprouts of three-leaf clovers in its midsts. The leaves of my clover were all different sizes and not at all what I had pictured a four-leaf clover would look. Without taking a moment to truly enjoy the treasure I had found there was quickly a disappointment in the gift. 

I knew it was silly to feel disappointed and a knowing rose up in my soul. How often do we get exactly what we hoped or asked for, but when it arrives and it looks different than we expected we have disappointment in the gift? Or how often do we look with disappointment in our own gift within us if it does not look like the shiny gifts and talents that others seem to have?

The phrase ‘be careful what you wish for” comes to mind. Or in my case, pray for. When you seek open doors and new opportunities, It is important to be mindful that what you pursue may come wrapped in a different package than expected. Yet there can still be beauty in a treasure that is uniquely your own.

Looking closer at the four-leaf clover I see a sweet etching of a smaller clover inside. I see that there is a gift within that I almost missed because my mind was clouded with my own expectations. I was thankful for the treasure. Thankful for the moment and no longer had disappointment in the gift.

The next day I was again outside with the puppy. Without any searching, I felt the tugging to look down. There at my feet was another four-leaf clover. Smaller and closer to the ideal in my mind. My heart swelled at the thought, there are many treasures to behold. There is no limit to what can be revealed. Sometimes the treasures come when we are in a place of contentment and not even searching. Will we be observant enough to notice them?

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Dreams: prepare in the waiting

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“There is just a moment between the mundane to the extraordinary. Don’t give up the pursuit before you reach what is intended for you: Press in faithfully and see what He will do.” SA

Where the God-given dreams are concerned there is a time to pursue in the waiting.
We are called to sow and cultivate those promises in our hearts. Those dreams will come to pass in their due season if we do the work in the waiting. If we try to hurry that which was planted we will end up with underdeveloped fruit that doesn’t reach its full potential.
If we give up and walk away we end up with a fruit that is rotting and laying waste.

I don’t know how many times I have had a dream for my future and taken action thinking it was for right now, only to find out I was in the wrong season of that dream and the actions I was taking were nothing spectacular. Literally, I have sat looking in the emptiness wondering how in the world did I miss it? Only to realize it was a dream not for that moment but for a time to come. I should have been preparing in the waiting instead of jumping ahead.

The dreams and passions that the Lord has placed on your heart and have been there for so long you may have even forgotten them or let them go, have not been placed there in vain. Often when we are dreamers, we see long before it is time to walk in that dream.

The Facebook LIVE  yesterday was about seasons and perfect timing built on Ecclesiastes 3. I shared how some of the things I was believing for, for over 20 years, are finally starting to gain momentum. Talk about seasons of waiting! I fully believe if I would have prepared and pursued the Lord more in the waiting, I would have walked in more confidence and joy, than I did when I let the enemy rob me of what was planted deep in my heart. NO MORE, I will keep walking with expectation, knowing the dream is being going to flourish at just the right time!

I urge you to meditate on the word and allow the Lord to work in your heart concerning the dreams that you are called to pursue. Don’t give up, don’t be discouraged in the waiting but keep working at it. When you, put the time in, it will be beyond what you, yourself could have imagined!

Ecclesiastes 3: 3- 15

A Time for Everything

For everything there is a season and a time for every matter under heaven:

a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
a time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
a time to tear, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
a time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace.

The God-Given Task

What gain has the worker from his toil? 10 I have seen the business that God has given to the children of man to be busy with. 11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man’s heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end. 12 I perceived that there is nothing better for them than to be joyful and to do good as long as they live;13 also that everyone should eat and drink and take pleasure in all his toil—this is God’s gift to man.

14 I perceived that whatever God does endures forever; nothing can be added to it, nor anything taken from it. God has done it, so that people fear before him. 15 That which is, already has been; that which is to be, already has been; and God seeks what has been driven away.

 

 

VISION

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We have been created with a purpose. We have been given passions, interests, and abilities unique only to us.

Psalm 139:13-16 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.  My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

How exciting that God KNOWS us. He KNOWS what we need and how we will impact this world around us. He placed hopes and dreams within your heart and He desires for you to have a vision and purpose.

 

What is vision? Vision is the ability to think about or plan the future with imagination or wisdom.
 When you are vision minded, you are able to dream and imagine. You are able to plan your future and know what you want. However, there are seasons in our life, and some of them may leave us feeling stuck. We may be unable to imagine or even hope for our future. We may have had revelation but through heartache or lack of knowledge, we have let it sit on the wayside. That was my last 10 years, I knew what I wanted, but I just didn’t go after it. I had my eyes in many different directions and I didn’t know how to grasp and walk out my plans or hopes. This is where the enemy wants to keep us. Frozen in place, unable to see our plans come to pass. 

Proverbs 29:18
Where there is no revelation (vision or understanding), people cast off restraint (self-control). But blessed is the one who heeds wisdom’s instruction.

In order to reach your goals, plans or purposes the Lord has for you, you need to understand what they are. When that understanding arrives, you keep your sights on it and take action to achieve it.
You must be self-controlled and disciplined to see the fruition.
If you allow your vision/passion/understanding to die or be hidden by the busy everyday life, you stop taking the steps to achieve that which has been revealed to you to achieve. Eventually, the vision is forgotten altogether or, becomes an afterthought with a sigh. “That would have been nice.”

Matthew 6:33- But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

The Lord has produced incredible visions in my life as I have sought Him first. Through prayer and fasting, and sinking into His word, He has made my way known. He is providing the instruction I must follow to see my personal plans and visions fulfilled in my life. I allowed His dreams for me, to become my dreams. In some ways they are so big, I feel completely inadequate, but God. This is where His instruction is so important, I don’t have to be able, because He will give me instructions to become able.

How do I reach my vision:

1. FIRST Seek FIRST the Lord. Ask Him to reveal His vision for you. Sometimes you may actually get a prophetic vision or a word from others that propel you into His plans, or you may just start with stirring in your Spirit. Pay attention to how He is speaking to you.

2. Make sure your vision lines up with the Lord’s will in your life. Make sure you are running after the things He has placed in you to do.
This again is found by spending time with the Lord. It is in this process, that you can ask for open doors for your vision and for divine instruction. You do not want to spin your wheels or spend your time pursuing things, not for you. It will exhaust and distract you from your full gift of His plans for your life. You may actually hinder more than help. When we line up with the desires of His heart and pursue fully, it is amazing to see the plan move forward into completion. 

3. Write it down. Write your vision down. Put it where you will be reminded of it.

4. Make a plan. Using the wisdom the Lord has given you and the tools around you, make a plan to obtain your vision. I created a list of my goals and steps to get there.
For me, I have some learning to do, so research is on my list. I have to take action so a laid out plan is on my list. Be clear on your steps. If you don’t know what steps to take, research, ask the Lord and ask others walking in a similar vision or goal.

5. Share it with other’s that will build you up. It is very important you guard your vision, or that you are mature enough that if other’s tear you down, you don’t let it stop you. If you are one that is easily discouraged, make sure to share your vision with like-minded people, or people who are your cheerleaders in life. It is easier to pursue a vision for your life when you are hopeful, the right people can be a great support in remaining faithful to your call.

6. Be diligent. It takes time to ‘arrive’. We all get busy and have distractions. Life happens. But I encourage you to take time every single day to do something in pursuit of your vision. Spend time in prayer regarding your vision and build your skills or do a bit of work. It will not happen if you are not actively working towards it.

7. Be okay with setbacks, and starting over. Every experience is a learning experience. I have sat on my gifts for years and felt guilt over it, but you know what, each season has given me new tools to pursue that passion and vision now. I will take everything to apply it to my now. There is a purpose in all we walk through, now let’s use it.

I made my first vision board, I know I want to be published, so that was my topic. I looked for encouragement and quotes to keep me on track. I look at that board (paper) when I feel discouraged. It is a tool. Not my everything, but a tool to keep me focused. I also have a plan written out for each of my visions/goals in life. I am pursuing, I am doing and I will see an impact. Even if not in the lives of others, at least in my own life.

Now that I have begun moving… I am determined to arrive!
I can feel it in my bones he is about to move : ) <—— Give a listen to Spirit move
My Live on my Youtube channel: Topic Vision

 

Unwavering Part 1

Blog- Unwavering (1)

When I was a small child, I had a teacher write on my report card; “She is like a butterfly, flitting from flower to flower.”
For years, I looked at that as a positive, seeing a beautiful butterfly gracing everything with her presence as she touched her soft wings to it.

I laugh at this memory as I still dance around with my head in the clouds and a song in my heart.

However, self-evaluation recently allowed me to see myself with a teacher’s eyes.
She was saying in a polite way, ” I wish your child would land and complete her tasks before moving on to the next.”

There are times, I jump on my dream entirely too early. Then I get discouraged and I move on to something else. This is something I have known about myself always. I dream it way before it is time.

There is a treasure in knowing when you do not see fruit because you are planting on unhealthy soil and when your fruit just hasn’t bloomed yet.

I have sat alone in an empty building wanting to share my heart for joy in the mess, to other ladies and week after week for six weeks nobody came, my heart was broken so I gave up working in women’s ministry, even though that holds a huge part of my heart.
God will put a dream in my heart and I will jump on it, without preparing myself for the fact that it may look completely different than what I am believing for.

Out of insecurities and preservation, I move on. When I see no fruit with my own eyes, I give up.

But what if I had waited one more week, maybe someone that needed to hear how to ease anxiety and obtain joy would have walked through those doors.
Or perhaps, just by being willing and diligent I would have unlocked something new in the journey I had yet to see.

I have been writing this blog for some time, this is the most diligent work I have ever practiced in my life ( besides worship team), this is the only time I have remained unwavering. Yet, I was ready to pull the plug recently. I feel my ministry within this blog is non-existent as I can’t see it, and I ask the Lord, “Why do I continue this work if I don’t get anywhere?”

The Lord gently reminded me, “this blog is for you, and the work I am doing in you that is not complete. Keep being faithful, remain unwavering with this one.”

God has made promises to me. If you are listening he has promises for you. He has called us to remain faithful. Keep pursuing, keep hoping, be unwavering in your pursuit.

What dreams do you need to pursue and hold tightly to?
Even if it does not look like we expect, If He has called you to it, He is faithful to make sure you reap your harvest!

His faithfulness is unwavering. He knows the plans, the purposes and if He has placed a work for you in your heart, keep at it, don’t let the DREAMS flitter away.

 

 

His Spirit

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I am a child of God. I have accepted Jesus as my Lord and savior. I have been baptized in water and in His Spirit.

Joel 2:28
It will come about after this that I will pour out My Spirit on all mankind, and your sons and daughters will prophesy, your old men will dream dreams, young men will see visions. It’s the spirit of God that has impacted me as a child.

 

My first memorable experience with the Spirit of God, was when I was just a little child.

I had a dream that Jesus had come in the sky from heaven. He was wearing white. There was a line of people waiting for Him. One by one He was taking people clothed in regular clothes, He would pass them through a shield and they would ascend to heaven, clothed in white robes. I was one of the people in line.
I woke up with the Spirit of God all over me. The dream has stayed with me all these years.

When I was in my 20’s at church, the Spirit of the Lord hit me and I felt led to a scripture in revelation. Imagine my surprise that the dream I had all those years as a child was described in God’s word!

I have had moments of His presence in my life in so many areas. I have known things only God could have told me to share with others. They would ask, “how did you know!” where I would answer, “God’s Spirit told me”.

I have been supernaturally healed in the presence of God. Three sons births testify to the Lord’s ability. The word says by the stripes of JESUS I am healed.

So what is going on now?

I have been going through health struggles, and some days I can hardly walk across the room. Dizziness is one of the most bothersome symptoms. When I am in worship and the Spirit of God hits me, I can dance, spin and rejoice. There is no pain, there is no dizziness. His Spirit pours out.

The spirit comes like a rain, touching my mind and renewing the dead dry desert. Spending time in His presence I am overwhelmed by the goodness of His flood.
Washing away the fears, the past, the anger, illness and the weight of this world.
There is nothing but peace, comfort, me and my God.

I ask myself, what is the trick to walking in that thickness of His presence all the time? Is it possible or does it hit so much stronger with a corporate body all seeking and worshiping together? Most likely it is because I fill myself with things of this world more often than I sit at the feet of His throne.  I let the stress and grief overwhelm me before I come to His throne, then look to medicine to fix it.

I pray and worship daily but do I REST in that outpouring of His Spirit, no.

I must remember my roots. I must remember the gift the Lord has given me in His Spirit. The opportunity for wholeness, for I was created to worship Him in SPIRIT and in TRUTH.
Being in the presence of God is the opportunity for a renewing of my mind and body.

Lord forgive my distractions. I worship you because you are worthy, you died and saved me from my sin, but the reward in that worship is astounding. You are SO good to have given this gift to me.

 

 

 

 

 

Awaken

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Revelation 3:2

‘Wake up, and strengthen the things that remain, which were about to die; for I have not found your deeds completed in the sight of My God.

 

Awake Awake Awake me O’ Lord 
From my slumber that brings death
Awaken my dreams

Awaken my passions
Awaken my gifts
Awaken my steps
Awaken my heart to hear your call  

Awake Awake Awake me O’ Lord
Awaken my soul so that I may praise you with the things that remain

 

Awaken: To rouse from sleep; cause to stop sleeping.


God  has placed dreams and passions in my own heart, some that I do not even know of yet. I have let my physical limits to allow me to slumber. The work God has for me to do has been limited. I am called to WAKE UP.  

Today I call out to the Father; “Where I am weak, make me strong and where I am lacking show your abundant supply. Wake me up Lord and bring the dreams to completion.” 

How many dreams have you let sit on the back of your mind, not giving them the time and attention that they deserve? Do you realize that our dreams can DIE.
There are dreams and passions that are planted in our hearts and we are called to strengthen them! I dare you, ask the Lord to revive your dreams. Ask the Lord to awaken things that are about to die. I pray your passion is renewed and you are AWAKEN.

 

 

Enough

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I am enough

He makes me enough

I am what He has called me to be

I will accomplish what He lays before me

I have all that I need

He will guide my hands

He will guide my feet

I am enough

He makes me enough

I am what He has called me to be

 

These words came to me in song tonight as we drove home from the Oregon Coast. We had taken a quick day trip and over and over, God showed me His amazing abilities through His creation. If He created such amazement, why do I doubt what He can do in me?

God  gave me the words… An artist thinks with his soul. I don’t think in my natural brain when I am creating. But let me tell you as soon as I am done, all my own flesh natural thoughts come my way. “It is not good enough.” ” I am so embarrassed by showing this side of me.” And on and on my thoughts will come, each time I complete something the Lord lays on my heart, and I doubt the sharing.

His words to me today ring so true; An artist thinks with his soul. I need to let my words of destruction and discouragement  get out of my way. They need to stop plaguing me after the fact.

I will meditate on the words of this song He had given to me, and I will be thankful that I am just as He has created me to be. Who am I to deny that what God has done is good? I am enough in His eyes. I am capable in His view and I will no longer live the lie that I am unable. I will do, what He lays before me and that is enough.